Since I came back to Malaysia in end Dec 2018, I have been having relentless challenges & traumas – both within my family (mostly) and external.
The traumas and challenges took the breath out of me for days and weeks before my joy came back. I had peace the whole time but I lost my joy. But of course this was great improvement from my past, which usually kept me down for months and even when I recover, I was still lacking joy.
Just 2 days ago, I went through a major trauma and was experiencing a lot of grief and pain. I cried and the only prayer I could do was, “God help me”. I prayed it again and again. That was the only prayer that I could say. I did DRN to remove any barriers between me and God. So, I had no barrier but my soul was in pain.
Today, as I spent 25 mins “Dropdown” and Soak in the presence of God, I saw the vision of myself with Jesus. I often see this vision of me and Him sitting on a bench by the lake. Its a beautiful scenery. I am led there again today.
“I saw Him sitting on the bench and I laid my head on his lap. In the vision, I saw myself talking animatedly with cheerful smiles and happy facial expression (Even though in the natural, I did not feel that way). I had hand gestures that expresses what I was talking about with Him. He responded with animated hand gestures in-sync with what our conversations was about (I didn’t know exactly what we were talking about). But I knew that He was very intently listening and totally absorbed in the conversation. He didn’t seem busy thinking about other things or wanting to tell me things or teach me anything. He was just BEING with me. ENJOYING being with me and I was also enjoying BEING with Him. The conversation didn’t seem like it had any revelation thingy going on. I had a feeling we were just chatting about silly stuffs that was funny. Maybe something casual. Yeah. I had a feeling it was that.”
I realize that I am very much like that. I love to have fun and humorous conversations. Just being myself with Him.
In my vision, my head was on Jesus’ lap
This is the background of where I am taken to during my Vision (minus the humans)
The next vision that I saw was with Jesus again. We were at the beach. He was wearing a white shirt with khaki pants and I was standing beside Him. I gave Him a deep hug. In that hug, I felt an emotion that was hard to describe. It was something that I rarely felt on a natural level. I felt comfort, protection, security and that everything will be alright just because He is with me. I have never felt that from hugging someone on earth. There was no words spoken just His presence that provided those emotions of comfort, protection and security.
In my Vision, I was hugging Jesus and my head on His chest.
Soaking into His Presence really gave me the strength and help that I needed. I was desperate. He never fails to show up. I guess, I am the one that fails to show up most of the time. “I am sorry Lord, I should show up even when I am not in trouble. Being in your presence is sweeter than honey.”
I am refreshed, hope enters my heart and I feel strengthened.
Matthew 11:28-29 (NKJV)
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
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